Things That Could Be Described As A Turd

Hello. Brian here.

Here are two extremely crappy things.

1. The new Indiana Jones movie.
Nina and I saw this turd of a movie on Tuesday night. We both had a hunch that it was going to suck, but we felt like we had to see it. It's just like Star Wars Episode 2. Episode 1 (The Phantom Menace) was a total piece of shit. When Episode 2 came out, you knew it was going to be just as bad, but you just had to see it. You had invested most of your life in this series, so you had to go see it. It was like homework. Luckily Episode 3 was decent, so it was somewhat worth it in the end. Anyway, Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Arc was a pretty good movie. Most people could agree on that. The Temple of Doom was pretty crappy. Some may argue that point. The Last Crusade was decent, and it seemed to be a good way to end the series. But then they had to go and make another one. Harrison Ford is something like 80 years old at this point, so you knew it was going to suck. But just like the Star Wars movies, you have to see it. So Nina and I went to see it. For the next 2 hours we were presented with unbelievably bad acting, extremely fake looking backdrops, cheesy lines, a piss poor plot, and to top it all off, aliens. When the credits rolled, I turned to Nina and said, "That was pretty much the worst movie I have ever seen. Worse than the first Spider Man." I really think we would have been more entertained at Kung Fu Panda. In conclusion, the movie is a big turd, but unfortunately you still have to go see it.


2. The phone at my office.
You would think that a modern engineering office would have modern equipment. Right? At my office, some of the equipment is pretty much laughable. We do have decent computers, but one thing in my cubicle stands out almost as much as Cynthia Nixon's girlfriend in a women's restroom. It's my phone. This phone is literally from 1980. And, yes I am using the word "literally" correctly. It is actually from 1980. It weighs about 20 pounds. It has no volume control, no screen, no speaker phone option, no hold button, no transfer button, no conference call capabilities, and no varying ring sound. There is actually a bell inside that is struck by a small hammer when someone calls. The only way to change your ring is to open up the phone and wrap tape around the bell. The only way to know if you have a voice mail is to pick up the phone and listen for the pulsating dial tone. You cannot unplug the phone chord from the bottom because it is hard wired in. I think the phone is actually owned by the phone company and ADOT rents it.



-Brian