Worst Job EVER!!

Brian and I journeyed to L.A. this past weekend to see the T's. Taylor turned the big 2 7 so we went out to celebrate with them.

This post, however, is not about our trip, but about something we saw when we were there.

Most of you know of their existence. Some of you may even be dreading when your daughters reach that age. I'm talking about the American Girl dolls. Yep, those stupid dolls you see little girls carrying everywhere.

Brian, Taylor and I were strolling a shopping area on Friday and noticed the large store that sold them. All around the store were girls dressed just like the dolls. Some had bags and bags of goods from this place. Curious, we decided to finally see what all the hype was about.

Before entering I thought it would be Disney-esque. Its not. Instead its a fairly open space with doll displays along the walls. First you can go to the showcase of dolls. Here is where you size up all the dolls they offer and decide which looks most like you. The doll will cost you $90. Great! Now you have a doll that looks like you and you want to get a cute outfit right? Well my friends not only can you get her one but you can get one for yourself too. Most of the outfits offered for the dolls came in human form too. The doll outfit costs about $26 and the kids outfit will run you about $60.

As we strolled the first floor, yes this place is huge, we noticed the most ridiculous thing. A salon. For the dolls. There behind the counter were the most unhappy woman I had ever seen. They stood there completely void of any emotion and brushed out the dolls hair. Meanwhile the moms talked on the phone and the little girls stared bright eyed as their doll sat in the tiny salon chair with their tiny salon cape on.

You could choose from a variety of hairstyles and they even offered a style of the day. This cost $10. For an additional $5, your doll could get a facial scrub. These poor women, what did they do in life to deserve such a terrible job. Oh man.

We then strolled upstairs hoping for more wonders like the salon. Oh and it did get better. We found a photo area where you and your doll could be cover girls on the American Doll magazine. The magazine alone cost $4.50 and the photo packages ran about $22. We then moved over to the hospital. Yes, hospital. Here is where your broken dolls go to be mended. We didn't get to see any patients but I bet when those little girls have a tantrum and an arm gets ripped off, mom rushes the doll right over. Maybe they even have a little ambulance that comes to your house to pick up the injured doll.

The creme de la creme was the cafe. We peeked inside the doorway and our eyes locked on the first table. There sat a girl and her mom and some friends and the dolls. The dolls were in highchair seats that attached to the table. So you and your doll could dine together, how very wonderful. Brian couldn't get over this and had to ask the hostess about it. He asked about food, "Do the dolls get food too?" Yes, yes they do. The cafe cost between $18-30 depending on the meal you choose.

We made our way around the store and our last sighting was little tiny dolls. Dolls for your dolls. It is all true, we saw it and Brian took pictures.

I feel certain that all the people who work here did very bad things in life to be tortured by spoiled little girls, snobby moms and dolls treated better than pets. Unless it was the dolls pet, cause they could have those too.

The people who dreamed this up are rich, rich, rich, rich. After making a round in there I imagine you would drop oh I don't know, about a million dollars.

If you pass one of these stores, please go in. It is worth your 20 minutes.

-Nina

Hello. Brian here.

I was just as flabbergasted by this American Girl store as Nina was. However, as I walked through this amazing place, I was tormented by one thought.
THIS IS THE REASON THE REST OF THE WORLD HATES US.

George Bush likes to say that the terrorists hate our freedom. That's total bullshit. Why would anyone hate freedom? I'm sorry, but they don't hate our freedom. They hate our gluttonous lifestyle. While the rest of the world struggles to put food on their plates, we are giving haircuts and facial scrubs to baby dolls. While countries are at war and innocent people are dying, we are buying baby dolls for our baby dolls.

On the other hand, this place is pure capitalist genius. Someone had the brilliant idea of taking this basic American Girl books and turning it into a multi million dollar business. It's amazing what people will spend their money on.

In other news, we saw a girl running down the street with her tit hanging out. Taylor surmised that she was on PCP. I think she was right. You don't just run down the street with your tit hanging out unless you're on PCP. I don't even know what PCP is, but I'm pretty sure the tit girl was on it. Unfortunately I wasn't able to snap a picture of this event, so you'll just have to take my word for it.

-Brian