Well, anyone know? I know that Tim Hennessy and Chris Flynn know the answer. The answer is.......skate stoppers. Skate stoppers are installed on ledges and hand rails to keep skateboarders from skating them. As many of you know, I am a skateboarder. Now that I am 30, I can't say that I skate very often, but I do still consider myself a skateboarder. I started skating when I was 12, and I skated pretty much every single day until I was about 21. After that, it slowly tapered off. Now I skate about 2 or 3 times a year. At any rate, I am a skateboarder, and I have mixed feelings about these skate stoppers.
The adult in me understands that people spend money installing nice ledges and other features to make their house or building look nice. As a homeowner, I know that I take pride in my house and the improvements that I make to it. I don't want anyone damaging my property.
On the other hand, the teenager in me thinks that it's not that big a deal to grind some ledges and put a few marks on a handrail. I mean, is it that awful if some marble ledges have a few marks on them? They probably cleared a bunch of trees and displaced a bunch of wildlife to build that building, so is that bad if I skate on their property?
It's a weird thing that skateboarders do. We separate ourselves from the damaging effects of our sport. If it's skateable, then we think we should be able to skate it. Tim once asked Chris if he would skate a Holocaust memorial if it were skateable. Chris responded something like, "Hell yeah, I would skate it." I know I have caused damage to many curbs and ledges in my day, and I don't feel bad about it.
After I grow tired of wrestling with the idea of whether it is wrong to skate on and damage other people's property, I start to think about these skate stoppers. I think about how someone is actually making a living producing these little things that are designed solely to stop skateboarders. I wonder if they hire traitor ex-skateboarders to design the skate stoppers and consult with building owners on where they should be installed. Sometimes I imagine the corporate meeting where this traitor ex-skateboarder stands in front of the board of directors with his charts and diagrams. He might say things like, "The average skateboarder can only ollie, or jump, about 3 feet high. Therefore you only need to install the skate stoppers on ledges less than 3 feet high."
This situation makes me laugh because there really is no way for a skateboarder to skate this handrail, but they still put skate stoppers on it.
This ledge only has skate stoppers up to the point where the ledge reaches 3 feet high. Those corporate executives must have listened to that traitor ex-skateboarder.
I don't think anyone who reads this blog is a skateboarder, so you all probably stopped reading about 3 paragraphs ago. If you are still with me, here's a joke for you. What did the archeologist say to the mummy?
"I dig you."
-Brian-
9 comments:
What kind of engineer builds skate stoppers? Structural? Perhaps they heard about the LL Bean Watergap fiasco of 2001 and were looking out for you.
I'm impressed that you called it the water gap. Way to use skateboard terminology!!
Engineers do not build skate stoppers. Jerks do.
-Brian
ahh...the LL Bean Water Gap...
Brian, the rant you will find below is in general and not directed at you, as I'm sure you are aware of my thoughts on this matter.
Skate stoppers are bullshit. It doesn't matter weather I'm 28 or 50, fuck those things. HUBBA HIDEOUT. Hubba Hideout, Hubba meaning crack, was a name given by locals to a deserted set of stairs with a large ledge attached to them. It was a haven for local homeless and drug addicts. A place where they could shoot up, piss and shit themselves. Unfortunate. Local business people were not interested in the nefarious activities and the cops did nothing. Enter skateboarding and...HOLD THE PHONE...cops, a concerned public, and last but not least the skate stopper industry comes to the rescue. The local business community was up in arms about the skateboarding “element” that was destroying public property and causing a general disturbance. Cops started busting skateboarders left and right. And finally Hubba Hideout was skate stopped to high hell, rendering it completely unskateable and free for the drug addicts to live in peace. Crack fiends yes...skateboarders no. What are we talking about here? Scuff marks? Insurance liabilities? The, oh so delicate sensibilities of John Q. Public? Do you love the sight of an unmarked ledge or handrail? Gee, I know I do. It's a disgusting sight, it really is, a tarnished ledge. I'm like the majority of the people out there. I love staring at cold, unused, inanimate rock, but not when people skate on it. That I can’t handle. These people hate themselves and skate stoppers are the work of the devil.
Tim
SKATE AND DESTROY!!! IF IT'S SKATEABLE ,FUCK IT....In all seriousness, skate stoppers are much more hideous looking than some scratches and/or chips in marble or the wax residue left on a ledge. Businesses just don't want shady bridge builders and movie makers hanging around having fun while they're miserable, so they took the cue from cities who made their downtown areas homeless proof by istalling devices that prevent them from sitting on ledges or sleeping on benches. IT IS ALL B.S.
Chris
Do bridge engineers build things that prevent people from having fun on bridges? Maybe like those railings you put up that prevent people from driving their cars off the edge and into certain death? Yeah, I'm talking to you, buzzkill.
I love st8er bois.
Dude, I could totally skate that rail. Goofy footed. Right?
I guess I am one of the dorks who read the whole thing. I would consider myself in the same boat as you Brian. Started skating when I was 12 and skated furiuosly until I was about 19. I was always a street skater, not much of a vert skater as you can attest to in our Shebang expiriences. By the way that placed closed down. What a sad day. All I have to say is what happened to the good old days. To think back to 1993, what the hell is a skate stopper? Back then it was some roudy pissed off dick who would come out and yell at you for messing up his planter box. Those were the days and even then the carpentry skills were in full effect. Fine, you don't want me to skate your crappy lot with you lame rail and half ass planters, I'll build my own.
I too knew these were skate stoppers...it sucks that most cities hate skaters...I just went to Toronto...no skate stoppers.
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