I was wondering, when do you become an adult? Like when am I officially looked upon as an adult? I wondered because today, as I made several phone calls, I got the impression that the person on the other end thought otherwise of me. You know when you can hear that tone in a voice that says they are judging you, well I hear it all the time. I think that because I look and sound young people assume I am in college, maybe younger. Because of this they treat me different, talk to me like I am young.
I am not complaining at all about looking young, thank you mom for that trait. When I am old, man I will look good. However, I have been thinking that people treating me young has caused this quiet retreat in my brain. I think I act young because I am perceived as young. I don't want to act 30, I don't even know how 30 year olds act, but I think I am mentally aligned with, oh say, 23. I think being treated like I am younger than I am all my life has caused a little lack of confidence in myself, in my social self.
Anyway I had these thoughts today as the women on the phone had the tone when they heard me speak. I need a little more confidence in my voice, in my posture, that says, "hey bitches I am not 12 so don't treat me like I am".
My friends the Sheaffers know what's up with adulthood. Man they are having a kid, a kid. Who does that? For real though I think they are so brave and they will be great parents. We cant wait to be a part of its life and we are sad to be missing the journey in person. However, we will be catching up on their blog, check it out.
Along with the adult thing I have also been feeling the holy shit thing. This involves the fact that I actually live in Arizona now. Sometimes as I am driving through town, I almost suspend time as I look around and think, "I cant believe I live here". I love it here and we are happy here, but its still scary to be so new and so far away from what we knew. It definitely takes time to adjust, especially as we get older. I feel lucky to have the opportunity to move around and live in different areas. Sometimes I get really freaked out when I realize where I live and what I have going on here. Like the house. We have never had a house this big or a pool and sometimes it feels overwhelming. I have never been unemployed this long and I get scared that I might never find a job, and if I do it will be hard to fall into place there. Sometimes it feels like I am playing house instead of actually living it.
Wow, thanks for sticking with me while I unloaded all that craziness in my head. I feel better. I do love it here, I feel good here, its an easy place to fall into step. I feel like I was supposed to live here. So ok that's all the rambling I have for you now.
-Nina-
7 comments:
ilove you nina,im always here,maybe not close in miles ,but i am here always.
Nina- just challenge them to arm wrestling, and you'll show them.
I think that we're adults by association with the Sheaffers.
PS. I like the photos.
Nina, you're so cute. In an adult sort of way. We go through the same stuff all the time. Apparently I must also look like a hoodlum as well as looking young. On Sat. we were at a party and I was talking with Hal and Melissa and some guy walks up and asks them if everything was OK and if I was bothering them? WTF?
Oh yeah, if it makes you feel any better, you are way older than me.
:) I really miss you guys :(
I know it is a joke, but could you please change your profile music so it doesn't say Paris Hilton. I hate her with an unrivaled passion.(see www.myspace.com/djrinteractive)
Dan why you bothering those cute girls?
Okay, here is the secret from a very immature 35 year old:
30 yr olds act just like 23 yr olds but can't drink nearly as much. They learn this the next morning but somehow it slips their memory at the next party... which is another sign of old age.
Seriously though, that was a great introspective post--and something everyone thinks about even if they don't verbalize/blog it.
Post a Comment