Today I was at Liberty doing my usual Thursday volunteer thing, and one of the woman came up to me and said "can you go get a bird after you are done"? Why yes I can, I replied. Initially I thought I was doing it just as a volunteer but I was informed I would get paid for it and reimbursed for the mileage. Sweet, cause I had to go pretty far.
I had to go to another bird place to get this bird and then come back. On my way back I started doing my thing, which is thinking and putting feeling to animal, and I started to cry. Now I told myself I need to pull it together, these ladies are tough and I need to be tough. But if you know me then you know I love me some animals and I have a tendency to put human feelings (mine actually) to the animals experience. I know animals feel pain and pleasure. That's why I am a vegan, how could I live with myself knowing an animal felt pain because of me.
So here's the scoop on the bird. It was this gorgeous Harris hawk (not the one pictured), big and beautiful, but it had been electrocuted and had a dead foot. It also had a bad wing. This bird was slowly starving because it could not fly and it could not stand well or catch food. This is where I start putting feelings into play. I was thinking that this poor young bird made a mistake and now it was going to die. It was living normal and happy and then touched something, pain, awkwardness, and now starving. So along comes a human and scoops it up and takes to a place where they are feeding it and trying to figure out what to do. Where I broke down was when I peered in the box to make sure it was doing ok since we had a long ride. I looked in and it was clutching the box with its good foot and it looked at me, eye to eye. I could see it was scared, it was lying on its back, totally vulnerable. That's what broke me, looking into the eyes of this bird and knowing it was on its way to die and knowing it was terrified.
So I sucked it up and took it in. The women took a look at it and then gave it a shot. It died immediately. They said it was very skinny and had multiple injuries, not necessarily from the electrocution. I wasn't sad it got put to sleep, it was better off for sure, but sad that it made a bad decision and had no options. So I motored out of there and cried for a little while going home. I am a sap for animals. That's why I am vegan and will be forever. I was thinking just today as I was feeding the birds, that pleasure for them is so easy to recognize. They cry in joy as they sit on their perch and eat the rat I just gave it. They ruffle their feathers and dance around when they see you coming. That's a god feeling, that's a connection that I enjoy. Most people don't get to interact with birds of prey, most people don't want to, but it is life changing to be in the presence of them and know that they appreciate what you did and they tell you.
I have conflicts with this place too. One is that I have to feed the birds dead chickens, mice, rats, and quail. I don't like this, I don't like the idea of it. Once again I put my feelings into the dead thing and think what a terrible life it had. I hate cutting up mice, like its paper. I know that the birds eat this, its what they do. Second is they also do live catch with the birds. They take live mice and toss them into a pen so the birds can learn to hunt. This I hate and I can not be a part of it. I will not sentence an animal to its death. I continue to return to this place because I know that all these birds in rehab, the ones I feed and nourish, will return to the wild and live a good life hopefully.
Oh, I earned about 35 bucks today, woo hooo.
-Nina-
2 comments:
I understand Nina. I give you a lot of credit for doing that despite the fact that you have to see sick and dead birds. I want to volunteer at the local animal shelter, but I don't have the guts yet to be around so many dogs in need. I'm afraid it would make me too sad. But you're out there helping, and that poor bird suffered less because of you.
i feel ya.
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